5 Mindset Shifts for a Better Life (for Women)
We all have sooooo much we want to accomplish in life. We have BIG dreams, BIG goals, and BIG expectations! We are partners, mothers, career women, entrepreneurs, athletes, and more. We are changing the world in beautiful and sensational ways!
The power of the divine feminine is LIMITLESS if you let it be and if you work with it rather than against it.
Mindset is central to everything. The quality of your attitude determines your quality of life. It affects every experience we have in life.
The question is: IS YOUR MINDSET EMPOWERING AND SUPPORTING YOU? Or is it breaking you down?
So much of this is under the surface we may not even be aware it’s happening. So the first step to integrating mindset shifts is awareness. Creating awareness leads to transformation, but it must be done without judgment, blame, guilt, or self-reproached.
Let’s jump into the 5 Mindset Shifts for a Better Life! Here they are:
1. You are Eternally Worthy
Whoever you are, younger or older, tall or short, single or married, (etc., etc.): YOU ARE ALREADY AMAZING in a way that ONLY YOU can be!
I know what it’s like. We have this running commentary in our heads that says that you aren’t good enough, not (fill in the blank) enough, making us doubt you’re worth it. We challenge ourselves, looking to external factors to fill up our self-esteem bucket. It’s how the ego mind is designed – to keep us safe by constantly questioning if we could be better than we are.
So the starting point is recognizing your eternal, unchanging worth. A worth that cannot be determined by external things such as accomplishments, achievements, status, possessions, etc.
And you are then going back to that sense of worth, remembering and re-remembering as many times as you forget.
How-to: There are many paths to increased self-love figure out what works best for you. It could be journaling, affirmations, self-care, treating yourself as you would your favorite person, carving out space for what makes you happy, working with a coach – anything that reinforces your self-worth.
Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint!
2. Happiness is an Inside Job (Personal Responsibility)
It’s easy to assume that happiness comes from relationships, accomplishments, success, health, or external factors. The truth is that happiness (health, wealth, etc.) is always internal–our circumstances mirror our inner game.
It all starts with personal responsibility! Recognizing that YOU are the Creator/Architect of your life. So empowering, right?!!
How-to: Create awarenesses that will allow you to make the choices you wish rather than going into default/automatic reaction. As you create awareness, you can create space to choose your response (be at will/at choice). Watch your language for insights into your beliefs and determine if you want to keep or discard those beliefs. Are they empowering you? Choose your attitudes, ideas, perceptions, and thoughts like you would choose an outfit – with care.
3. Making Yourself a Priority is NOT Selfish
We were all taught that putting yourself first is selfish. I’m calling bullfrog on that one! Especially as women, it’s in our nature to nurture and give. But giving is not the way to abundance when you haven’t filled up your tank.
So women, please make yourself a priority – it’s NOT selfish.
Nourishing self-care is a big part of self-love. It’s how you show yourself love and create more!
And, when you give from a place of being full, you have SO much more to offer, and it’s delivered with a completely different energy – the receiver will be more likely to feel your love, nurturing, and generous intent. Being ‘selfish’ is a great way to set yourself up to give more fully and deeply from an authentic place.
How-to: Make a list of what you need to feel good. Self-care is a broad category so let’s break it down: sleep (how much), food (types, quantities, frequency), exercise/movement (how much, how often), physical touch/affection (how much, what kind), sex (how much, what type), alone time (how much, how often), water (how much each day), time in nature (how much, how frequently), appreciation/verbal approval (how frequently and what type), and whatever else fills you up (my list includes massage therapy, evening routine, early bedtime, fun adventures, regular exercise, plenty of water, delicious healthy nutrition-dense foods, connection with people I care about, being in service/purpose, and of course time with my dog Gizmo).
Then work towards honoring yourself as much as you can. Schedule it into your day. Take mini-me breaks throughout the day if you don’t have bigger chunks of time – but do take time for yourself doing things that light you up! Have a morning and evening ritual that helps bookend the day.
Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint!
4. Open to Guidance
As women, it’s easy to fall into being the victim or the I-don’t-need anything archetype. We take turns in each, weak or strong. But what if being strong meant being open to receiving help and guidance?
There are three types of guidance; they all play an essential role.
- External guidance (coaches, mentors, health practitioners, etc.) is excellent for helping you create awareness and accountability and guiding you forward. They have achieved what you wish and can show you the most efficient route while helping you navigate the hidden traps. This type of guidance is essential; ALL the highest achievers have mentors. But if you only seek external advice, you must include something even more critical.
- Internal guidance is even more important: learning to go inside to that place of inner wisdom/intuition and to trust that you have the answers you need and can make the best decisions. The second part of internal guidance is the part of your soul that extends beyond your body. Some call it God or another deity, guides, and angels; others feel it in nature or the Universe. Whatever you resonate with feels right to you – there is no wrong answer here. I call it my Divine Support Team. Two of my guides are my grandfather and my brother (both deceased), and I have a whole team of guides and angels protecting, guiding, keeping, inspiring, and empowering me. I am never alone! It’s lovely to connect this way.
- Body guidance! It’s essential to make peace with your body, and one of the ways you can do it is to honor it through listening/paying attention.
A word on divine guidance. Women are intimately connected to the divine, so we have an easier time than men, but anyone can relate to direction.
- Spend time each day in stillness/meditation/quiet contemplation, open to receiving whatever your inner wisdom, guides, and body have to share.
- Don’t force it, be honest and willing.
- Allow your guidance to unfold over time.
It’s like a muscle – the more you use it, the stronger your intuition, trust, etc., will be.
Remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint!
5. This is a Marathon, not a Sprint (Enjoy the Journey)
Our society is go-go-go, do-do-do. It’s all about getting the result. It’s natural to try to race to the finish line. But when you are so focused on development, you miss all the beauty and blessings in between. The small, incremental, consistent change will get you there – and often in a more realistic way than trying to do it all at once.
My greatest blessing was being sick for all those years, even though the suffering was INTENSE and almost broke me. It didn’t, and because of this experience, I’m more robust (and know intensely how strong I am), more courageous (and know profoundly how brave I am), and I’m in touch with my passion for helping others almost nothing I can face will even compare. Which means I’m pretty badass! Had I known it would be one of my greatest gifts, might I have suffered less? For sure!
Our point of power is in the present moment – not the past, not the future. So enjoy this moment and every moment!
How-to: Create a consciousness practice that allows you to tune in to the subtle sensations, smells, sounds, sights, and the way something feels against your skin. It’s easier to do this in nature (I think that’s why we crave nature) – can you do this in your daily life too?
Let your transformation be in steps – work on one new thing each week or month (a new habit, mindset shift, skill), and once you’ve done that, add another.
Create a knowing that everything that happens is happening for you (not to you), and you’ll end up being grateful for it – so why not be grateful NOW and get the blessings (and less suffering) now?!
Ok, ladies ~ you have your roadmap. Now it’s time to take one piece at a time and implement it in a way that feels good and right to you. Or, make your list. I believe in you!